Personal Stories
We welcome personal stories about experiences with adoption that you would like to share. We will be posting ones ourselves, and links to others that we become aware of.
posted by K at 9:30 PM
Saturday, February 26, 2005
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I have been working with an Agency to adopt via the County for 3 years now. Always have we been the 'favorite' family. However, instead of placing us on the list to receive children ready for adoption, we have been given children to foster. This continued until we went into a meeting with the social workers and all ills were laid out, forgiven and we started the path to adopt with adoption home study ready. Previous to this we had no idea there was a differance between an adoption and a foster homestudy. One day after all papers were in place we were called with a 4 month baby boy. "Do you want him?" No other information was given to us. We accepted. The DI came out several days later and explained he was going to adoptions. I thought this weird as of course he was going to adoptions - this is what we signed up for. But, figured it a mistake on her part. Furthermore she explained, he is probably Downs Syndrome. This threw us into pains - can we handle a downs baby? Was this what we wanted? After meetings with the agency and searching of our heart we decided this was okay with us. We also took him to the pediatrics for blood testing - months later we found he was not downs but part asian.
This little man has brought so much joy to our lives. He has lived with us for two years. We are about to finalize adoption - well it was suppose to finalize last Oct - on the two year mark of him entering our home. However, despite that being 6 months after termination of parent rights, our adoption is not complete. The county blames the agency, the agency blames the county. We have hired private attorney's and our family and birth children have been thru horror after horror. Agency workers have popped in unannounced yelling at us and poking at simple things like a toy in the hall way. In spite of a completed and approved home study just a few months old, the agency is now decided to not support us with no other reason than "3 toys in the hall and dried beans left on the floor under the kitchen table." I explained that during the 'surprise visit' that we were crafting and glueing beans to the paper - it does not matter. It does not matter the rooms were tidy and no laundry, trash, dirty dishes etc were found. It does not matter our now 2.5 year old son is happy and well cared for. It does not matter we have numerous letters supporting us in the adoption of our son. It does not matter that we are home study approved. They are draging this on and on....we might not care and wait it out. However, they know we are being transferred out of state due to job relo. Our attorney believes they are purposfully dragging their feet in order to force us to turn over our baby boy. How can they rip him out of the only home he has ever known with no cause at all? So the fight continues. Impromptu 'meetings' to discuss issues. None of the issues ever amount to anything and all of them are trivial - but they are enough to convince those in authority to continue to post pone. In an era where we have Adoption Day and commercials asking people to adopt children in the county. Why would they want one more? In an era where this is common - can it be they don't care if they screw up another child? We have paid thousands in legal fees to try to resolve this. Our birth children have undergone badgering by investigators questioning them due to allegations brought on by the agency. Nothing has ever been and will ever be founded - yet - we continue our horror and our baby - his has just begun.
8:29 PM
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